Bladders Go Green
Sustainable, eco-friendly, carbon neutral, green, non-polluting, organic, biodegradable, natural … the list of words about climate change goes on and on! For the non-scientific amongst you all this can seem jolly confusing and rather dreary - a bit like double chemistry when I was at school.
But trust the B-Ws to simplify, explain and reassure!
How do we go green?
Forget the scientific clap-trap. All you need to do is pretend World War II never ended and you’ll not go far wrong. Think Rationing! Think Dig for Victory! Keep Calm and Carry on!
Again, there is lots of chatter out there about the best ways of going green. But Careless Talk Costs Lives, so I’ve boiled it down to some essential things that we can all do to help the planet. As we showed during the war, if we all pull together in Great Britain, we can be victorious. (My husband, Douglas, told me that to be accurate I should mention something about the Americans coming into the war at this point, but I’m not going to!)
Bags for Life
This is such a good idea and so simple:
Get some bags from Harrods or Fortnum & Mason, or for the intellectuals amongst you some Oxbridge Colleges now produce tote bags with their crest on.
Take a selection of these every time you shop at the cheapo supermarket, so when you run into your friends on the way home there’s no need for embarrassment.
I’ve been doing this for years, so it was jolly good to learn that it benefits the planet too!
Recycle
If you’ve read my blog post Decluttering for Duchesses (and if not, what have you been doing?), you will know that loads of jolly decent but unwanted items, usually clothing, gets carted off to charity shops every day.
This your chance to find yourself some quality country gear at a knock down price!
Pick up a waxed jacket or a deer stalker, a gilet and a pair of jodhpurs or even a ball gown for a fraction of the original cost. And the real bonus is that because they’re not new, they will instantly look like you’ve had them for years and, as you know, no one who’s anyone ever admits to buying anything new! And if it doesn’t quite fit, you can either get it altered by a seamstress (yes, they still exist!) or, my preferred option, claim it belonged to your late mother/grandfather/the Earl of Penruddock as appropriate.
And an extra Bladder’s tip here, if you are caught coming out of one of these places by an acquaintance, just wave and say you’ve been donating again … and doing your bit for the environment!
Growing your own
I have discussed what we at Bladder Hall are doing to be self-sufficient in my blog post, Bladders on a Budget, but here is a quick update on boozybladders.com:
Douglas and Totty have been going at it night and day to extend their repertoire of home produced, ecologically sound beverages and will shortly be able to launch their very own vodka. I am particularly fond of Douglas’ newest concoction which he has called a Bloody Maggie in my honour.
What a dear old thing he is!
Use less of everything
Well, you might say that all fun in life requires tons of energy and results in loads of pollution so giving things up is going make our existence utterly frightful. But fear not. I have discovered clever ways to reduce the impact on the environment of all sorts of everyday activities.
Eating meat - Instead of serving environmentally damaging meat, simply offer your guests more caviar, salmon or oysters. You’ll find they want to do their bit too, so none of them will complain if you explain it’s more environmentally friendly!
Flying - When jetting off across the world, apparently it’s much better if you go on a flight with lots of other people on something called a commercial airline. Alternatively, there is nothing wrong with the good old Orient Express for Venice, the Maharajas’ Express Train in India or the Blue Train in South Africa. And let’s not forget the most environmentally friendly form of travel on earth - sailing yachts. Perfect if you’re not in a particular hurry …
Driving - These days, we drive even short distances. But it’s just laziness. So stop being slothful and saddle up that hunter and ride over to your friend’s place instead! Your planet will thank you!
Heating - I have outlined the benefits of small dogs in keeping guests warm in my blog Bladders on a Budget. But don’t overlook the humble hot water bottle either. Your housekeeper or butler will be happy to refill these for you as and when necessary preferably by re-heating the same water - please see section on Water below.
Water - We should all be using less of the wet stuff. Apparently showers use less water than baths but … well … there are limits! Totty Grunt-Wittering’s solution is to share her bath with an equally committed eco-friend which in her case could mean the gardener, the vet, her fencing instructor or Roger Ruttingly-Tankred … But for those of you with a smaller social circle than Totty, I think just putting in less water and more scrummy bath oil might be the answer.
Lights - I am constantly going all over Bladder Hall turning lights off, though it’s a good idea to do this once you’ve reached the bottom of the stairs, as evidenced by Douglas’ recent broken arm and fractured ribs. But when entertaining, why not use candles? It gives you an excuse to show off your best Georgian silverware and even the most hideous dinner guest looks attractive by candlelight, with the possible exception of Roger Ruttingly-Tankred.
One last thing…
My daughter, the acclaimed actress Harriet Bladder-Warwick, is rehearsing a new play about saving the environment, The Iceman Melt-eth, at Renwick Village Hall and is looking for some pale, thin children from the surrounding villages to take on the roles of non-speaking endangered species. If any of you know of any suitably emaciated youngsters, please do get in touch and I’ll pass your details on to Harriet.
Until next time…
Maggie B-W.